When correcting a child, a mere correction may only lead to REBELLION and DEPRESSION, especially when not provided a reason to change or even the grace or the opportunity to change. A child gets labeled as “naughty“, “bad“, “hard-headed” because he was not given a way OUT, he was NOT SHOWN a way how to be different.
One day, while taking care of a group of kids, a boy about 3 yrs. old kept on hitting the other kids. He would mumble and I even heard bad words coming out from his mouth. The other facilitators kept on scolding, kept on calling his attention, but he still continued.
Then at the peak of his hitting of other toddlers, one of the facilitators, though fed up, gently came to him, took his hands and said to him as she rubs her hands back and forth to his, “Look at me. You know, God made these hands to hug, to love, and to take care of people. These hands are not for hitting. Use these hands to love, okay?” The boy while nodding, completely mellowed down. He was still mumbling a little after that, but at least, he somehow refrained from hitting.
Witnessing that scene drastically transformed how I talked to kids. Back then, my son was just months old, but I’d always look back at that time whenever I need to discipline my sons now. It honestly works. Telling them to just don’t do things without an alternative of what should be done just brings them back to doing the same thing all over again. Telling them what to do instead makes them act towards the good that has to be done.
Even for adults, correction and pointing out mistakes can be very offensive, especially when everything ends in “YOU ARE WRONG!”
There should always be a FOLLOW-UP, show people HOW and a way OUT. Don’t assume that they always know the right thing to do (If they did, they wouldn’t be in the mess), some are just really clueless on the next steps to take that they end up feeling bad about themselves after revealing to them the wrong things they have done or are doing.
For Christians, we have to be sure to lead people to the cross. Without the message of the cross, the love, the power that can change and turn a man from darkness to light, then the pointing out of sin is simply POINTLESS. =)
Sin can’t tell you how to live. After all, you’re not living under that old tyranny any longer. You’re living in the freedom of God.- Romans 6:13
Let’s not forget grace. Let’s not forget the way out of people’s burdens, chains, and bondages by leading them to the one who has loved and freed them from those things.
So, what now? Use your freedom to serve God and serve others in love.
Featured image source: Bank-People-Fighting.jpg
*Photos are not mine. Click the photos for source of images.